A melanoma survivor, Ohara found a purpose to keep her going.
Loss
I lost something the other day,
I didn’t just drop it,
It was taken from me
And where it was,
An emptiness remains.
I lost something the other day
And the emptiness hurts
I know it will get better
I will build walls
To protect myself.
I lost something the other day.
I will never get it back
It cannot be replaced
I will learn to live
With some emptiness
I lost something the other day
I will find another focus
It won’t be the same
And I won’t forget
What it was I lost.
I found something the other day
I found a purpose
To keep moving forward
Looking ahead
At what will come.
When you have cancer, and you are worried about dying, something fundamentally changes inside. You may survive, but you are forever changed inside — you lose that irrational sense of immortality that we have when we are young — before life and aging reminds you that death will come. This loss can be devastating, leaving a gap, as you learn to go on, one day at a time, with a bit less confidence in what the future will be. You do go on, but it is never the same.
Michelle
With eyes that sparkled, a smile that blinded
Fun loving girl, dancing with glee
Mercurial spirit no one could restrain
Contagious laughter; a soul that was free
Not one to tarry or take anything slow
You burst into life, and blew off the doors
No one could miss you, your passion so bright
You wanted it all and then wanted more
Sudden surprise, the bite of the beast
At first it was nothing, no worries, no fear
You shook it off, determined to win
But eventually, the beast reappeared
Chaos and madness took over your life
You tried to fight it and keep yourself strong
You were so young to hurt so inside
To struggle with pain; to push to go on.
The challenge before you seemed so unfair
You hadn’t lived; you’d much left to do
What you didn’t see was what you had done
You’d already given us the gift of you
We say good night to our warrior friend
You’ve done your fight and given your best
We’ll carry on and wrestle the beast
Sleep well my darling; you’ve earned your rest.
I am a stage 3 melanoma survivor. About 16 years ago, I worked with a group to raise money for melanoma awareness and research. The group was initially conceived of by a young woman battling stage 4 melanoma. Michelle Rigney wanted to make a difference — pushing for awareness, research, support, etc. as the battle against melanoma was so difficult at that time. She lost that battle, passing before our first major event in 2008 — and I wrote this poem for her after her death. The group, Moving for Melanoma of Delaware (cofounded by Anna Marie Farro), raised almost $1 million over the course of 10 years before disbanding. Michelle was also the inspiration for legal changes in the management of tanning bed use by minors in the state of Delaware – Michelle’s Law.
For more news on cancer updates, research and education, don’t forget to subscribe to CURE®’s newsletters here.
